Do i exist?

2010-03-23T20:31:00.002+08:00

- I will not fall again

Hah, i bet you enjoy seeing me shatter before the both of you ?

You've finally archive your goal in destroying the last bit of hope left in me.

i admit, i've really missed you and the urge for me to talk to you is getting stronger by the day,

but now, you simply crush my dreams with your palms like i've place no effort building it up at all.

Yea, i bet you're enjoying every bit of this right now, watching a guy who's fucking torn apart because of you.

You will never know how much it hurts.

2010-03-18T00:28:00.002+08:00

- It's not what happens to us in life, but rather what we choose to do about it that determines our destiny.

Saw something that remind me of you today.

Argh ! Those memorize are not suppose to come back all at once,

My head's burning. All these images flashing in my mind over and over again, like a " one track CD ".

Hah, do you remember those promises that we've made months ago ?

i promised you that after serving my probation, i'll stay at your place 4 days a week ?

i promised you that after our O level's we'll leave the country, just you and me ?

Remember the day where you've promised me to stay by me no matter what problems we'll have to face ?

You promised me that he's just a friend to you and you know exactly what you're doing. you told me to trust you, i remember everything that you swore in front of me.

But what i've been worrying about, back then, stabbed me straight in the heart. It went according to what i've expected.

Why do i still love you after going through such excruciating pain. I can't bring myself to hate you at all;

All i can do is to stone at this particular spot where you left me and grief over the loss of such a perfect person in my life.

Our emotions are formed out of our thoughts. thinking about what could go wrong makes us feel worried weather or not anything unfortunate ever takes place

Dwelling on unhappy events in the past or present makes them appear closer and more important and habitual thoughts like these can make us depressed.

Looking only at our mistakes can make us dislike ourselves and lack confidence, while looking at our talents makes us feel happy and more confident.

Habitually thinking enjoyable thoughts of things to look forward to and good things that have happened will lead us to happiness.

2010-03-11T22:38:00.004+08:00

- Any one can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do.

But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's what i call true strength.

These are my common test results :

English - 53/100 ; C6

Maths - 83/100 ; A1

Combine science - 77/100 ; A1

Combine humanities - 73/100 ; A2

F&N - NIL

Currently i am super disappointed in my results for english.

Thanks to that stupid hangover i had during the exams. FUCK !

Clive is stupid ):

ARGH , i have to push myself more ! I need my 10 points by mid year ! ): ): ):

" A man can be as great as he wants to be. If you believe in yourself and have the courage, the determination, the dedication, the competitive drive and if you are willing to sacrifice the little things in life and pay the price for the things that are worthwhile, it can be done. "

- Vincent " Vince" Lonmbardi.

2010-03-04T00:29:00.004+08:00

- The spasm of vengeance that i felt but I'll have to face it; no one's to blame except me.

Hah, why am i always ranting about things that she do to this monkey.

Apparently, this monkey can't speak; it couldn't tell me what am i supposed to do.

But every night when I'm thinking of her, this monkey is the only thing that i could talk to.

The only thing that's related to her. I think I'm crazy. No wait, i AM crazy.

I'm feeling depressed and crying over someone who's now sharing her love and care with another.

When i first knew about the day that you've cried for him, I was so god dam frustrated.

Back then, I was thinking to myself, what for keeping this monkey when you've gotten over the past.

I threw it against the wall. Upon hitting the wall, it begin to recite words that I've always wanted to hear.

" i love you, i love you. "

These words are the sweetest thing that you've said to me. The sweetest thing that you'd refuse to say whenever there's anyone around, these words that i will never have the chance to hear it from you again.

I went over to the place where the monkey laid, Picked it up and tell myself that it's the only thing that reminds me of you.

It's the only thing that have a connection to our past, those beautiful memorize where i will never forget..

What am i suppose to do without you now ? ):

2010-03-03T00:00:00.003+08:00

- Whenever we exchange a short glance between one another, everything that we used to share replays in my head, over and over again. God dam it.

Argh, the haze is so dam irritating.

I'm suffering from flu and soar throat, What's worst is that I'm breathing in all the soot ! ARGH

And and, the weather's killing me ! God dam it. it's getting warmer each day.

GLOBAL WARMING ! ):

Whenever i look at you,

i'll have the urge to walk over and tell you how much i miss you. ): ):

2010-02-23T23:05:00.006+08:00

- Rewind to the times of joy.

HAH ! Moments ago, i was browsing through Adrain's blog, and i found a photo of us 2 years ago !

I LOOK SO DARN RETARD THERE. LOLOL !

All the photos are place accordingly from the earliest to the latest. HAHA !

The first photo was like 2 years ago ?

It was taken at the swimming pool's toilet at Adrian's place during july, if I'm not wrong.

The second photo was taken last year, during March or april, can't remember.

The third photo also was taken last year, june. That was the time when i had such long hair ):

The fourth photo was taken last year again, during August or September, at the swimming pool's toilet at Adrian's place.

The last photo was taken this year, February. HAHA notice the huge difference of my good buddy Nicholas too ? HAHAHAHAHA

Aww, we used to be notorious kids back then. (:

Photos are great evidences of joy that you used to enjoy in the past, where all you have to care is simply having fun and forget all consequences.

2010-02-21T21:23:00.003+08:00

- I'm sorry, I can't be Perfect.

Went to marina with Nicholas, Thanakon, Darren, Kenny, Alvin, Terence and Cheng guan to catch a movie at marina.

The show's called Little BIG soldier, the main characters are jackie chan and wang lee hong.

My advice, a MUST watch movie. It's hilarious, i swear. O:

After the show, me and nich went over to Peggy's house to meet Shawn, Yujie, Kaiyoon, Jamuel and Zhenghui.

Left Peggy's at around 8.40, and finally, Home sweet home ! (:

I'm so pathetic, Still thinking of you.

2010-02-20T23:27:00.007+08:00

- If i have the power to reverse time, i'll still be with you because those memorize are simply too beautiful.

Went out with nicholas today. ARGH ! I'm spending money again, HAHA.

Accompanied this crazy boy to clover, fareast plaza, for his " new " hair cut.

HAHA, someone took off his helmet today (:

After rotting at fareast plaza, we rolled to ion, then to cine.

Bought my polo there and played a few rounds of pool with nich.

Bully ! >: LOLOL !

It's such a shame that i can't let go of you.

You're still in my heart and you're biting me from the inside, because I'm always feeling the pain..

2010-02-16T21:29:00.003+08:00

- It's such a disgrace for me to feel dejected over what seems to be a retribution of what i've done in the past.

I remember those days when you'd skip your dinner just to accompany me.

I remember those days when you'd hug me and whisper to me words that'll make me smile.

I remember those days where you'll complain whenever i sleep late at night.

I remember those days when i was down you'd make a fool out of yourself just to make me smile.

i remember those days when i'd blame myself whenever you fall sick because i knew it was my fault for not protecting you.

i remember those days when i sound moody, you'd ask me if there's something wrong. I'll always say " nothing " because i knew that i couldn't be selfish to share my problems with you.

I remember those days when you'd find a way to my house to meet me even if it's raining heavily

I remember those days when you'd whisper to me and tell me how important i am to you.

I remember those days when you'd refuse to sleep because I'm not asleep.

I remember those days seeing you peering through your curtains to see if my room light's off.

I remember those days when you won't let me leave you even tough i have to; due to my time curfew.

I remember those days when i'd lie on your laps and you'd complain because I'm too heavy for you.

I remember those days when i used to be your " best dam thing " ever.

But all these are just memories now.

Do you remember telling me this ?

" I said I won't already. He's my really close friend and he'll always be. i know my limits. "

But look what's happening now ?

You told me he's only a friend, i trusted you. I trusted the both of you.

Instead, you guys just betray me.

In the first place, why should i remember all these when you're now sharing it with him.

You told me that I'm getting used to the life without you.

But seriously, have you ever seen the days i've spent alone, thinking of you ?

praying to every single star that you'll come back to my arms someday ?

Have you ever spare a fucking thought about me when you're spending your happy days with him ?

Ya, i guess i'm the only one to blame because i'm the one who gave you so much freedom to do whatever you like.

I chose to hang on because time and again, i've lied to myself that you'll still remember me.

But i was wrong. I've just been replace by him, and here i am now finding ways to relief the pain that is biting me from the inside.

I've just been disposed to the bin because you found something better then me...

Vengeance, Fear, Animosity

2010-02-01T23:56:00.002+08:00

- No Second Chance In Life

Yes ! I've failed again in life.

2010-01-24T02:47:00.001+08:00

i've waited for 77 hours and 51 mins, you didn't call.

Hell i miss you.

2010-01-16T02:08:00.002+08:00

-It's not about how you fall but, how you pick yourself up and keep fighting.

I can't sleep ! Argh, it's now morning 3am and i just simply can't fall asleep.

Maybe it's because I'm still waiting for your reply..

Are friends that important to you ? Is it that hard to reject your friends and spend some time with me ?

No one's to be blame for everything right now except me.

In the first place, i agreed that you could do whatever you like as long as you're happy, i don't want to snatch your freedom away from you just because i feel like it.

But time and again, i pick up quarrels with you because of small things that you've done.

I've chose to see things in a different prospective point of view to stop the quarreling.

I really want you to know how i feel but words are not something that can portray how much you mean to me.

That night you told me to look for someone better and that you're not good enough for me.

I disagree with such nonsense because you've gave me more that what i should expect for.

You somehow make me fell that you're indirectly trying to tell me that you'd leave and expect me to find a replacement, it hurts you know ? ):

I doubt you'll read my blog anyway, everyone thinks it's dead.

So, Good bye.

2009-12-11T22:35:00.003+08:00

- It's Those Little Imperfections That Differentiates everyone in life.

Have you ever believe in kismet ? Or are we, human beings, reconciled to our fate ?
The future is changing. It changes whenever we've decide to choose either one from the few selected paths we've to proceed in our life.
Taking risks are part of life. Normally mental turmoil are caused by difficult decisions that we are forced to choose.
But after knowing that you've chose something that changed you for the better,
something that you've stood up for in your life, you'll feel gratified, don't you ? (:
Always remember, when you're having depressing or negative thoughts pulling you down,
Put a smile on your face and thank god that you're alive !
Life is a gift, It's too short to give up.
Nothing's impossible, It's a self fulfilling prophecy !

I've lost my only friend, someone whom i had implicit trust in.
Alright, since you've decided to leave, i won't hold you back. Takecare my brother, i'll miss you.

2009-11-22T01:15:00.003+08:00

-I'd Been Plagued By A Persistent, uncomfortable intrusion of a specific mental picture

Say hello to Clive's dead blog ! Sorry for not being able to update for such a long time.
Today, I've nothing much to say so i shall start my topic about friends.

Friends are one of the reasons why we humans live on. Com'on, agree with me ! (:
We tussle against one another for supremacy , protect each other from harm
and succor one another in times of difficulties.
Making friends in life is something so inevitable that one can go demented without having someone to share his/her problems with.
And when there's friendship, there will always be betrayal. Never have i seen a friendship that's flawless.
Quarrels may happen sometime due to many reasons but mostly, jealousy or negligence.
Someone who can make ironclad promises and someone whom you will have implicit trust in
are what you should look out for, they are the ones worth spending time with.
Avoid friends with infantile mentality, they are the ones acting as a trouble - magnet around YOU (:

HAHA, I'm done and off to bed ! GoodNight !

2009-10-21T01:04:00.010+08:00

-It's kismet that chose the paths of our lives. So lets just embrace what we have for now not knowing what's gonna happen in future.

Clive is back (: Here i am, blogging after such a long time.
I'm actually suppose to be in bed now because I've to attend school in like 6 hours time.
But i just can't fall asleep so I'm here to post on the Sentosa trip with my friends ! (:
I did had fun with my friends, although I'm the so called " camera man " there.
It's because i refuse to swim with them, considering all the showering and cleaning up i have to do,
I'm just too lazy to do all these things (:
Ok, first I cabbed to Habour Front with Nicholas, Tong Shan and Dana as i was kinda late,
something crop up before the trip so everything was kinda delayed because of me.
Then when we arrived there, at the beach, Darren, ZR, Davis, Bryan and Yanxuan left due to some reason.
Walked over and saw Shannon sitting there alone while amber's running towards the beach.
Nicholas stayed there to talk to him while i walk to the beach to see Pekhan, Elieen, Yong, Kwang, Lynn, Cheryl, Eldon, Amber, Yeeboon, Vince, Deneng and kai xun playing in the water.
The first one to react was vince, he came charging towards me like i'm some kinda food to him. LOL
The next one was of course, MrTanYeeBoon. came runing with a lil cup in his hand that's filled with sea water.
That idiot actually thought of pouring that cup of water on me with my camera in my hands.
And the next thing he did was, he tried to act as a retarded whale who was washed up shore. HAHA
Try to focus on his hands, you'll see the lil cup (:
Cheryl, darren and kwang sat by the shore and showed me a fish that they caught in a cup and i went over to take a look at it.
it looks kinda wierd because i've never seen such a fish before.This photo above is Mr Kenneth Kwang (:
Kwang was born to be a sadistic bustard, and he did what he was born to do, which was torturing it. HAHA
First, kwang started burning the poor lil fish with a lighter but it failed.
So Vince joined in the sadistic game by using his zipo to burn it. 2 crazy maniacs.
Moments later, Firhan decided to play vollyball and we joined in.
No pictures of vollyball as the camera man was in the game (:
We were kinda noob at it so we gave up after many attempts of trying to keep the ball in the air without landing on the sand.
After sometime, Cheryl, darren and kwang left.
The rest went to clean up and bath. Soon, we were on our way back to vivo for dinner.
i've to go home early as expected ):
THE END (:

2009-10-13T01:11:00.006+08:00

- The Flare Of Resentment, Almost Fury, That I Felt. But I Knew I Had No Rights To Care.

Yes ! I'm finally blogging after such a long time. Genuinely, my blog is kinda dead, due to my ultra laziness !
N level papers are over, kinda relaxed for the time being. It's holiday for everyone but not for me ):
I've been rotting home every single day after 9 and i think I'm suffering from claustrophobia, i don't know how long i can take this ):
I'm having a nostalgia for my freedom days, it's so dam boring to rot at home !

Ohoh, went to my father's new office opening ceremony some time ago and I've got some nice pictures ! (:
He requested for 9 lions and a dragon from Jln Besar's lion dance group to perform
for his opening ceremony and it was a beautiful display of skills from them !

Here are some of the pictures !

Nice aye ? (: Haha, See ya ! i think i won't be blogging for some time, LAZY !

2009-09-26T21:32:00.002+08:00

- I'm having a nostalgia of the days with you, my dear.

Ok, first I'm gonna apologize for the semi-dead blog ): and then, I'll show what had happened on Friday in school !
First, everything was fine and the teacher was droning away. Lessons was as usual, BORING.
And then, something stupid happened, Bryan felt a spasm of horny-ness and went insane.
He targeted ZR and stipulated him to do something dirty. LOL !

Poor Yi jie, seeing her boyfriend being screwed my bitch, bryan (: HAHAHA !

2009-09-13T22:01:00.002+08:00

-Sometimes, the anguish of grief makes me feel like i'm going preposterous ):
Gosh, I'm feeling so weary now, did nothing much these days.
Practically, that's the reason for my dead blog (:
Went out with adrian and ZR recently, ZR's not in this picture cause he's shitting ! LOL !
And and, time to concentrate on studies 23 more days to final exams !

2009-09-08T22:48:00.002+08:00

- Everyone judge people with the first impression which will always be the physical image.
I feel like cutting a hole and screw the SS paper today.
It was talking about some african crap ass stuffs. Cambridge and MOE, suck me ballz man (:
I know the LTTE have been defeated, but you need not remove the question from my paper,
I sat there thinking if I've sat for a sec 5 paper or not, checking and re-checking the subject code number.
But it turned out kinda disappointing ): so i sat there, stoning and reading through the source + background information.
And the next moment, I've realized that it was 2.30pm. So i've started on section A, the Source Based Question,
Some negro stuffs about some KiBABI and some OdinGAGA craps ): talks about elections and stuffs.
Ok, i shall not perpetually ponder and complain about this anymore. ):
Say Bye to sec 5 and Hi to ITE, so what if i've distinctions for the 4 other subjects when i've flung both my chinese and SS,
Screw you camridge, you'll be my future dogs name (: BYE !

2009-09-06T00:27:00.005+08:00

- I Hate Being Alone As I Tend To Conjure Up The Past.
Really sorry for the semi dead blog ): ain't having the mood to really blog these days,
either I'm lazy or frustrated with things happening around me. It just refuse to proceed the way I've planned.
Ok, i shall not complain anymore. Hmm, went for Vince's birthday party on 28th august.
He booked a place in K suites, which i swear that place is one of the best ktv I've ever step into my entire life, for his birthday party (:
Adrian, Shuai xiong, Nicholas, Hubert, Yeeboon, Shannon, Matthew, Georgine and I were invited.
We did stupid things and enjoyed ourselves there. Haha, Thanks Jian Heng aka vince (:
Photos ! :

Ok, I'm gonna show you a photo of the birthday boy, it's darn unglam (: Look look :
First, YB and SX started gaying,
Then Jian heng joined in the fun LOL !
Look how happy they were back then (: when they're having great times together ! LOLOL

TODAY !

Today i'm feeling so lethargic ): Have to reach home by 8 today, sorry mountain ):
It wasn't on purpose to leave that early, hope you'll understrand ):
Went to east coast for steam boat today with Zr and Ph ! (: It's been a long time since i last had a steam boat buffet.

Hoho, Look at the cooked chicken ! does it look delicious to you (: HAHA
Clive was once a glutton and forever shall be a glutton !
okok, look at Zr, he's doing some nonsense again today. HAHA,

He was trying to do something stupid here but i happened to be too late to capture it ):
OK, this was made by Clive (: ANDY, YOU SHOULD SEE THIS ! HAHAHA :B BYE !

2009-08-22T13:38:00.004+08:00

- Time Waits For No One.

I was supposed to blog yesterday night but i fell asleep on my bed ):

Haha, I did enjoy myself yesterday. Thanks SheWeeeeeee (:
For accompanying me throughout the day even when you were sooo tiredzx.
Brought SheWee to keppel island for dinner, hope she'll like it there.
Walked around and took many photos there, the place was beautiful.
Had a scrumptious meal at tcc. (:

Look at this photo (: HAHAHA.

You say hello, inside i'm screaming i love you
You say goodnight, in my mind i'm sleeping next to you
You talk to him, and it burns me like the sun
You talk to me, you can't hear the pain i feel
It crashes my head when you call me your friend
i just wish there was so much more then that, about me and you
There's a piece of you inside my heart that runs too deep to describe
There's an angel in your voice that tells me everything's okay
And there's 0so much more than wonderful,
so much more than i can see and i could spend forever hoping you'd be here with me.
But all i wish is just for more time, for me to stay close to you..

2009-08-16T00:56:00.003+08:00

-Every little things you do changes my emotions.

Did nothing much today. Went redhill at 12 and came back to lavander at 3.
slacked till 6 and head to bugis to search for my bag.
didn't managed to find what i want, so head home for dinner (: Father cooked steak !
It's soo delicious. Haha, it's been a long time since I've ate steak that's done by dad.

I'm sorry ):

2009-08-15T00:43:00.004+08:00

-Maybe, things just don't work out for me.

Ended school at 9.30. (:
Met hubert matthew and vince this afternoon. Four of us went to bugis because birdy wants his stud ball LOL
the three of them went to watch a movie while i head down to tampines to meet sherri.
We've already planned to go vivo city, so after meeting her, we took a train down to habour front.
Bought tickets for the orphan, it's a nice show ! (: haha.
Had a late dinner and head home.

Look at the retarded sherrizxc :B HAHAHA.

2009-08-11T21:37:00.002+08:00

-Give me one good reason to fight and never walk away.
I can never see the way you're thinking. So unpredictable.
Moments ago, you were who you used to be. And the next thing i knew, you were acting as though i was a stranger.
You were a friend, a specific friend of mine that I've spend time, shared laughter and joy with.
You were the one who stand by me when i felt like it was only me against the world.
I've tried placing in so much trust and my best for this friendship, but all I've attain in return was to see this friendship slowly wither and disappear after some time.
Our friendship still subsists and i really wanna stop it from disappearing because you're the only one i trust in life now.

I used to portray life in such a angelic image but everything backfire. Life seems so negative right now.

2009-08-08T01:11:00.002+08:00

-History repeats itself, don't they ?
Went out with Pek han and ZR for a movie today.
Met pek han at kembagan and train-ed down to cine to get tickets first, while waiting for Mr ZR,
Oh, the show was fantastic, G.I.Joe was a brilliant show indeed !
Saw justin and friends there before we head for our show.
bus home after that, kinda enjoy what happened today.

I guess i've not much time left. but is it possible to enjoy what i have now
just hope everything's gonna go on as usual when i'm gone. Mum and Dad, i'm sorry, i didn't see that comming in the past.
i just wish i have the power to rewind everything and start off from where i've gone wrong. I'm sorry.

2009-08-05T23:14:00.002+08:00

-You are someone i recognize as unique and interesting.

No pictures of me today, but there's a picture of YB doing some crazy nonsense again. (:
went shopping at vivo and then to keppel island for dinner, had a great time with them today.
FYI , that white thing behind YB's ass was a urine-er and he thought it was a toilet bowlzx, LOL !

Around 7pm we watched the sun set and it actually look kinda like an egg :B HAHA
That's all for today, head home and stone after that ): tomorrow's English prelims.
I need my sleep now, Bye !

2009-08-02T23:04:00.002+08:00

- I'm Screaming Your Name From A Distance So Far.

Fuck You.

2009-07-29T23:51:00.002+08:00

-Tongue Tied.

Bright cold silver moon, tonight alone in my room
i stared up at the stars, i wonder just where you are. you feel a million miles away, i wonder just where you are.
was it something i said or something i never did or maybe I'm just not there at the right time.
whatever it takes, i don't care we're gonna make it perfect i swear.
but you're standing at a distance so far that I might never reach because baby I'm always moving one step forward and two steps back.

2009-07-27T23:47:00.002+08:00

-Heros are always the first to attain glory but the first to die.
Short post today. Went to town with Vince to shop for his stuffs today !
reached home at 7+ i know it's early ! but vince has probation so i have no choice ):

Had quite some fun time in class today. Like how i disturbed Bryan with his sexy slope !
HAHAHA just look at that ! Retardd !
HAHA ! and I've a new " self declared " pet bunny today !
His name is Shawn soon ! HAHAHA ! (:
Cute right ! look at those bunny tooth ! :B

2009-07-23T22:14:00.004+08:00

-Everyone seems to treat me as a fool (:

Ok, I'm gonna start to blabber some nonsense in my blog again. HAHAHA
had some horrible experience today in class !
It's again about, Mr. TanYB (: LOL !
Today, he took some drug today and he went insane ! HAHA Look at him ! he's trying to smoke in class !
After the failed attempt, he walked over to zr and started his " Crazy " acts again ! look look.
He sat beside Mr. OwZR. he showed him something on his phone and they started laughing.
The next thing they did,
Was to sms on YB's phone with different hands ! this picture look dam dumb !
it looks like they have their bodies stick together as one LOL.

YB then showed ZR something on his handphone which i don't think it's somwthing nice. HAHA
ZR refused to look at it and moments later, Mr.YB's insane temper came to life !He attacked Mr.ZR ): so mean of him to do that.
Zr cried ): and yb tried to do something disghusting to him to make him smile again ! HAHAHA look look,HAHAHA !

The next 2 crazy people is Loh DeNeng and Loh PekHan
have you ever seen humping for guys in a mix school ? when there're girls to satisfy their needs ?
HAHAHA, Look at de neng. he looked like as though he's sex deprived ! LOL !

HAHA ! GAY ! My class is so crazy i tell youzx ! (:

Oh great, I've made a wrong mistake to fall for you, looks like someone had taken a step forward.
I'm always late by just that lil moment in life, just that fucking short period of time.

2009-07-19T23:08:00.005+08:00

-To Succeed In Life, You Have To Try, Fail, Learn And Stand Up Again

Is it fear or courage that overcomes you when you stumble on a problem in life ?
And do you give up or persevere if you fall ?

There are many problems and failures we face in life.
But are you gonna blame others when it comes ? or sit there, think about it, highlight your mistakes and learn from it.
set your targets, know your limits and aim high in the air.
even if you fail to achieve it, at least you know that you've tried your best.

So sorry for, the person i became
So sorry that, it took so long for me to change
I'm ready to, wish i will never become this way again.
Because who i am hates who I've been.

2009-07-14T21:29:00.005+08:00

-It's not faliures that made us lose our confidence in life but it's the attitude which made us strive and aim high.

HAHA ! did some stupid things in school today.
The first two period, we had some talk from my form teacher, Mr. Tay.
His conversation with us was about bullying and some other stuffs. Made us laugh early in the morning !
So after doing that piece of worksheet on remarks of bullying, some of us decided to try it out on our classmates ! LOL !

Scene 1 :
Victim of the day. Mr. TanYB (:
Using his iPod in class. I walked up to him, sat beside him and act as though I'm busy with my stuffs
The next thing is,
I poke him with my lil finger and he screamed like a bitch !
( I swear this scene is dam funny ! His voice hit some freaking high pitch ! )
Ok, no more nonsense. The next thing i do is,Assulting him with my lil gun finger and he's dead ! Thats call physical abuse. HAHA ( i sound retarded [: )
Look at that tongue ! It somehow shows that he have some intention to lick the camera.
and this whole thing happen-ed in like, 2 seconds ! I'm laughing like a evil man in this picture ! (:
So cute of YB to play with me. HAHA !

Scene 2 :The next victim was kenneth kwang. HAHA !
Look at lynn ! she's killing her BoyF ): another physical bully scene right after playing with yb.

Cute aye ! (: This is how crazy my class is. BYE !

2009-07-12T23:09:00.003+08:00

-Am I Invisible To You ?
Went out with Nicholas to Marina Square today.
Played some arcade games and pool.
walked around marina in search of nice cloths but I've failed to find suitable ones for me. ):
Nicholas bought a denim skinny from FourSkin, all thanks to me, HAHAHA !
tomorrow there's school again ): guess i have to crawl out of my bed the next morning feeling exhausted because i don't feel sleepy now.

I no longer feel the presence of happiness in me anymore.
i used to feel happy over many things in the past, except my character. Notorious, defiant and irritating.
In the past, I've hurt many people around me, most importantly, my parents.
I've changed into another person now, to fill in the holes I've left out, to be perfect.
but i no longer feel happy. I'm seeing things so negatively now.
Maybe i should just return back to my past, i might feel better..
I guess i can never have two things at the same time, everything seems wrong, so wrong.
Especially, You.

2009-07-11T00:27:00.002+08:00

-Critical Acclaim
Dug out this old photo from my phone, it was taken during the holidays. I miss my past hair. ):
Is it a crime to love someone ? I'm being punished by pain that i pray not to face,
but yet it's still coming for me. I hate who i am and who I've become. All the negative thoughts,
all the unhappy things, bottled up inside me. It's tearing every bit of my confidence down into pieces every second.

Chain me, Lock me. I need a chance for you to,
Take me to a place when time is right,
A place of happiness and no pain, perfect skies and no rains
This place full of peace and light, and I'd hope you might.
I want to be there, i want to reach into a place called,
Your Heart.

2009-07-04T02:37:00.002+08:00

-Maybe it's you.
Went for Adrian's birthday BBQ today. Had quite some fun time there.
Cooked some delicious food for myself. HAHA, yum (:
Opened a bottle of Martell and mixed it with coke. Cheers to the birthday boy and drank a number of cups.
Turned on the music and relaxed by the swimming pool which was just beside the pit.
Hah, Look at Shannon ! He somehow resembles MC king ! HAHA !
Cute Aye ! (:

Cabbed home after the party with Nicholas. We had a great time together, all thanks to Adrian.
Last but not least,

Happy Birthday Adrian !

2009-06-28T23:55:00.003+08:00

-Never the same again

Went to Far East's Left Foot to get my jacket and Heeran for my everlast shoe (:
met Nicholas at Heeran's subway, did nothing much. Slacked for some time and there he goes,
Working his ass off again. HAHAHA, These are pictures of lam wan yang in his subbie shirt (:Cute aye ?! All he does in subway is Slack, clean and whine ): HAHAHA ! He has a lil tag, it says, TRAINEE (: (: (: LOL !
After that, i head to have my stupid hair cut at bedok. Grr, i'm super not used to it.
Today is the last day clive has long hair ! Ok enough, i'm filled with regrets here ):
Tomorrow is the start of school. it's time to studyyyyy 2 weeks before prelim starts. i must work hard ! HAHA

Time to place everything aside and concentrate on what's ahead first..

2009-06-28T03:44:00.004+08:00

-I say, are you gonna be my girl.

Back from pekhan's birthday BBQ HAHAHAH, had a great time there. It was a sucess again (:
Some of them head to swim while others cooked some food for us.
Ohoh ! i board this bus 65 today with Eric, YuJie and Shannon, it broke down ! oil leaks and smoke all over the bus.
the scenario in the bus was as if it's gonna explode anytime, soooo scary. HAHAHA
I'm so mesmerized by this jacket that's placed on sale in Left Foot.
I'm hellllll interested in it but it cost a bomb mannnnn ! i'm gonna pay 219 for it ! ):
Think I'm gonna get it tomorrow ! After that, BOOM there goes a hole in my pocket. HAHA

Tomorrow is the reopening of schooool ! Dam it, i'm hell not ready for it to happen. i want more holidays ):
Turning to study mode again soon. I must attain what i aimed for.
it's my goal, my life. HAHAHA

HAHAHA look at lam wan yang in his lil SubWay hat and shirt ! soo adorable (:

Guess i'll have to take one step at a time.

2009-06-27T02:58:00.002+08:00

- A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
Yesterday's class BBQ was a success. Nothing's spoiled and everything went according to plan.
went night cycling throughout the whole night ! cycled from east coast to clarke quey and got caught by security LOL
chased us out from the streets of pubs and we head back to east coast. HAHA !
From 2 till 6am we've been cycling non stop. Head for breakfast and then cycle homeee.
oh wait ! I have two holes on my pants which was made last night ): both at the ass !
So i head to bugis to get a new one with nicholas just now. saw Agnes :D and head home after dinner.

Today's pekhan birthday ! another BBQ this evening. Ok i need to get some sleep now (:
Byeeeeeee

Sing like a rock star, Be like a movie star, Play like an All-Star, Fuck like a pornstar.

2009-06-24T03:07:00.002+08:00

- I wanna be looovveeeeddd
Watched transformer the revenge of the fallennn with yujie, zhan rong and pek han today (:
AWSOMEEEE ! you guys should watch it too ! bought tickets for 8.15 show
Finally get to watch it and i'm soooooooooooo amazed by the show ! happy happy (: (:
now i'm awaiting for class BBQ on 25 HAHAHA. NIGHT CYCLING YAWW !

second chance ain't available for me afterall.

2009-06-22T04:06:00.003+08:00

- i guess i over did it again.
23rd june is coming ! Transformer here i come ! HAHAHAHA, so excited about it !

Can we be more then friends ?

2009-06-21T01:40:00.004+08:00

-i don't wanna be lonely, no more.

It's dark tonight, i can't spot much stars upon the dull sky above.
Been having quite some time alone today,woke up at 7pm, dig for stuffs to eat at home and stoned.
Had one meal for the whole day, i guess I'm cutting down on my eating habits soon.

Boom Clap, Boom De Clap De Clap
Boom Boom Clap, Boom De Clap De Clap
Boom Boom Clap, Boom De Clap De Clap
Boom Boom Clap, Boom De Clap De Clap

2009-06-17T01:42:00.007+08:00

-When i gazed in the dark sky, i think of you.
Slept at 8 this morning, i can't head to bed so i drank and watched some movies at home before sleeping.
Woke up at 4, stoned for 5 hours and head to kallang to meet mr yee boon,
after that, we took a bus to kallang leisure and catch a movie called Land Of The lost (: some funny show.
Our actual plan was to watch The Taking Of PelHams 1 2 3. but it failed ): cause i ain't 16 yet.
so end up watching this cute movie which i didn't regret nor enjoy /:
Ate mac and head home.

2009-06-14T19:50:00.004+08:00

-I don't deserve a second chance.
I'm still awake after 30 hours, can't believe it. I didn't manage to grab some sleep at all.
so I'm like a half dead zombie now. My eyes are aching due to the numbers of hours I've not slept and, my heart aches too.
I don't wish to explain it here either. You don't even bother to reply me, so i would stop dreaming that you'll read this. Yea, actually I'm just lying to myself, telling myself that you will care about me.
Whats the point ? it ended up with some heartbreaking scenes again.
In the first place, the very first question i must ask myself is, why put in so much for such horrible things again ?
Why don't i deserve a second chance.. why.

Happy Birth Day Derrick !

2009-06-13T00:37:00.002+08:00

-Good Friend (:
Clive is feeling hungry ): I NEED FOODZ ! and i cant find any of them left at home ):
my stomach is growling and it wants something ! LOL
ok, i just came home from city with nicholas (: i did all i had to do there today !
watch the stupid show drag me to hell, its stupid ! so dumb lah ! but it made me laugh quite a number of times
and i got my new watch, so happy. levi's rocks ! i support them (:
i need to go dig for food now, bye all ! ):

After all, you were just something i can never get.

2009-06-12T02:46:00.003+08:00

-♥Green lil monster (:

Let me introduce my new friend to all of you, he's short, green-ed skin, large head and a really huge heart (:
HAH, he has a very special pose which is to sleep with me everyday. LOL
ok enough of my craps, did nothing much today, woke up at 4 pm !
all thanks to beibei's birthday chalet. Stayed over night there, drink and chatted with some friends through the night
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY BEIBEI (:
Ok, headed to gym this evening and its packed with people.
Did nothing much and head to jurong point for dinner. our actual plan was to catch a movie.
The show is called, DRAG ME TO HELLLLL !
What i've heard from some friends is that they agreed that it's a brilliant show !
But we're late for the show so I'm gonna change this plan and postpone it till tomorrow.
so we head for our dinner ! (:
To think of it, I'm going to watch it tomorrow. I'm also getting my cute lil watch tomorrow. HAHA
Tomorrow I'm going to school to finish my F&N course work, left with bibliography and I'm done !
finally, after 6 months of hard work, it's done. Another subject comepletee !
Another step to my great achievement, YAY (:
ciaozxc all, i need my good night sleep.

I'm getting over you afterall.

2009-06-08T02:02:00.002+08:00

-I need love [:
I'm starting to love my new hair style. i know it sound sadistic but its true ! HAHA !
Did nothing much today, text-ed lil charis and practically stone the whole day.
Jaron i hope you're reading this, Fuck you ! woke me up at 6am just to meet you, I'm so sleep deprived LOL
i need some sleep now ! its 2 am and I'm still awake. ciaozxc :D

If everyone cared, this world wouldn't be a horrible place to live in.

2009-06-07T03:06:00.002+08:00

-I guess i'm not worthy enough for you.
Idiot cheryl took a photo of me, smiling like a gay LOL and, this is my new hair style,
one side long, another side short. How is it ? pleasee give me a comment about it. Thanks !

I think it's time i stop chasing whats meant not to be mine, Since it will never be.
Do i deserve better then waiting ?
it's been quite some time I've tortured myself waiting.
it's hard for me to let go of you because i really want you girl.
But i think i need time to slowly forget you because you will never come back..

2009-06-04T01:07:00.002+08:00

-Are you coming back ?.
Some how, I felt tired of this. Waiting ain't a clever thing to do afterall. it will never be.
Infact, I'm being outcast from her life so what the fuck am i doing,
wasting all these time waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting for no outcome at all !
It's so unfair, why isn't there a change ? why don't i deserve a second chance ?
To think of it, I'm afraid i might lose my temper anytime.
Because everything just left, without any signs, any warning or any reason.
i just don't realize what I've done wrong. I know i must've done something but i just can't figure it out.
Yes i know you hate me and i know no matter what i do, you won't forgive me.
But i just don't understand why or what made you so fed up with me,
The way you ignore and hate me makes me felt like I've destroyed what I've build between us.
I'm sick of waiting, please come back because i really need you.♥

2009-05-26T01:09:00.002+08:00

-You once made me felt like the luckiest man on earth
You've once supplied me with all the happiness life can afford, all the beautiful moments that love can bring
and all the pain that no man can go through without leaving a scar behind.
Yes, lots of friends told me that I'm just wasting my time, just a lil fool waiting for something that will never happen.
But yet, i refuse to listen, I'm just too stubborn, never once I've allowed anything to pass through this thick skull of mine.
Like what I've promised, I'll wait for you for a year, another 6 months more.
Because Baby I Need You and i just cant let you go.

Where are you ?
the shadow in the back ground.
the angel from my nightmare
i just can't grab hold of you no more
Baby I'm so sorry, i cannot sleep, i cannot drink tonight,
your memorize are so creeping and haunting everynight.
Tears flowing down from my eyes because, I miss you.

2009-05-25T00:45:00.002+08:00

-I was born, to tell you i love you.

Stupid protruding bunny tooth LOL.
Can anyone tell me the reason why my mood is soooo dull these days ?
I'm paranoid with almost everything, seeing every little things makes me think of you, again and again.
And I'm agitated by stupid things, loosing my temper to almost everything wrong around me.
why cant things happen according to the way it was planned to be.
maybe I'm just selfish, I've never thought about how people will feel around me with all the stupid things I've done, especially my parents.
Everything i ever wanted isn't anything i will have, I'm still wondering when will my smile be true one day.
I'm so tired of being alone, so tired of looking at your pictures, missing you everyday,
So sick of crying and so vexed about you everyday.
I'm still waiting for your text because baby i need you back in my life.

These three words have always been screaming in my head, INeedYou♥

2009-05-22T01:46:00.004+08:00

-I'm no longer afraid of you.
what I've realize today is that, wishing you to return is no longer possible.
It's no use being a fool crying for you, wishing that you'll come back because it ain't happening.
And you won't see how much pain i had gone through for so long.
You won't notice how much I've missed you cause, you weren't here at all.
You will never fucking understand how i feel for the pass 7 months

I've decided, it's time to let go of you. Maybe, you're just meant not to be mine

Maybe these simple words will do best to best describe
What i feel in my heart and what I'll feel for all time,
♥Tu Amor.

Nicholas, remember what i've told you today, it's not the end of your world,
it's just the beginning. We've still much more to go through and it will be tougher then what you are facing now.
We've walked 10 years of our lives together, let's just move along and keep walking.

2009-05-19T02:12:00.003+08:00

-Will you be mine ?

i close my eyes and the flash back started
Begging you please don't go.
i'll keep waiting for you but you'll never come..
But my faith in you was fading day by day.

Marry me juliet, you'll never have to be alone
i love you and that's all i really know
i'll be your prince and you'll be my princess,
it's a love story, baby just say... yes.

2009-05-17T16:19:00.004+08:00

- No one will realize even if I'm dead.

I've tried to change, i want to show you that i can be a better person in life
but yet, you don't notice. I've tried to stop my notorious acts and defiant character,
all because i want to make you happy and yet,
you accused me for being a burden in your life, some one who has lack of responsibilities.
I've avoided many friends so that i can spend more time with you,
last year, i used to go out everyday, neglecting you, smoke and get caught by people,
thinking that it was nothing. Fight and sleep in class, causing numerous phone calls from school.
Refuse to study, thus causing my grade to plunge. I've never thought about how you feel,
i know it hurts for you people back then but this year,
i woke up from my stupid little dream. I tried to do all i can to make you smile,
i tried with all my might to make a total change in my life style, a total change in me
I want to make you proud, I've tried my best to focus on studies,
no longer the "gangster boy " i used to be.
i no longer have discipline records this year and i tried to keep it this way.
Yet you aren't seeing any of this happening in front of you cause,
you were not there when i tried to be a better person,
you were not there to watch the change in me.
And now I'm just a burden in your life. I'm causing all the problems in this family,
I'm the cause for everything. i tried to smile everyday,
thinking that one day my life will change for the better, but it's turning even bitter everyday.
Because, no one really understands who am i,
no one really knows what I'm hiding behind that crooked smile of mine.
and I guess, I'll slowly fade away from this cruel world and no one will notice my existence

2009-05-16T20:58:00.002+08:00

- Forgive me.

My mood's crushed these days /:
lots of problems happening and,
my appetite of shoving food into my mouth is increasing due to my mood ):
i wanna grow fat but i cant, to think of it, I'm kind of a monster yesterday.
Ate 3 bowls of rice, drank 2 bowls of soup, one large coke during the show and one bottle of just tea.
All of those crap for dinner. oh my gawdzxc. But i still look the same today /:

I thought i could forget you, i had this foolish thinking that i can forgive myself,
for what I've done in the past. but I'm so god dam wrong about it.
i will stay strong, no matter what happens, I'll try my best to kick you outta my heart
and i believe i can make it happen one day,
Clive is strong, yays LOL [:

2009-05-14T01:55:00.002+08:00

- i'm crying for so much more.

people say that i'm crazy, i'm blind and i just cant get you out of my head.
it was me who caused this problem, its my fault that my heart is in this miserable state.
it's the very moment that i wish that i could take back,
i'm sorry for the person i became, i'm sorry it took so long for me to change.
i really can't explain myself, i miss you and i really do.
if i can rewind to the past, i promised i'll make things right.
each night, i pleaded for your forgiveness, wished that one day you'll come back,
praying for the day to come, for you to speak to me once again,
i watched you left me, taking my heart away from me.
i need your love. Yes i do.
hope you'll last long with him, i'm sure he's a better guy.
i shall stop pestering you, hope that you'll forgive me one day.
i guess i'm just not worth your attention at all...

i heard reverberating footsteps, syncing up to the beat of my heart.
and i was positive that, unless i got myself together or i would watch myself falling apart.
Grace koo, yes its you, 7 months have passed, it just happened so fast, i know you've already erase me from your memory.
And i know you ain't reading my blog at all, i don't think you'll even care.
i'm just your past and i'll never get you back ever again, i have to face it but afterall, i'm missing you so.

2009-05-10T20:41:00.003+08:00

-Move along
The past is haunting me again.
i need a little breather.
cause things had change and without you, i'm seeing myself so differently
when i watched you walk away, i've never thought id say, i'm missing you.
will i bring myself to move along, to forget you ?
its been 7 months and im still stoning at this spot, the same stupid spot when you ditched me.

i used to believe in and looking for the perfect one, 1 in a million.
i couldn't see it, until i've met you, i gave into love and watched my bitterness burn.
i felt that, my world started to turn, back then we had such happy times together,
i know that you are more than a name, more than a face in the crowd.
you were within my reach back then, as close as the beat of my heart.
but now, im just holding onto things that had already vanished into thin air, it left me in pieces.
it felt like a whiplash on my back, it hurt, it really does.
i miss you.

2009-05-09T03:41:00.003+08:00

-Short lil life.
No picture today ): ( i'll try to add it the next time i blog )
i've been sick for the past few days,
wishing it was a swine flu but it turned out to be some regular sickness,
how i wish i could die of swine flu because,

1st: i love pigs
2nd: i will be the first singaporean that's infected with this disease. LOL
3rd: i don't wanna continue in life anymore /:

i've been having gastric problems, dunno why,
andand, i'm spitting out blood these days.
im really sick, i guess. ):

Ok, i just found out some things today and i'm actually shocked about it. LOL :
Over 10,000 birds a year died from smashing into windows.
The king of hearts is the only K card that does not have mustache in poker cards.
The praying mantis is the ONLY insect that can turn its head.

2009-05-03T23:16:00.002+08:00

-I Love School (:

Another 4 months more, minus the holidays,
i can kiss goodbye to suckers that i wish not to see and speak of them anymore (:
i want to have some peace and quiet time in my life to study
andand, i love school. Yays ! (:
11 points for O level gogo, i can do it.

2009-04-29T23:57:00.004+08:00

-Devil.

He sat there a picture of age and death,
his massive head sitting on his withered shoulders.
His nose, once straight and elegant, was now bulbous.
his eyes were reduced to sunken sockets, clouded with confusion,
stands of wispy snowy hair stood on his head.
He muttered to himself.." Girl, i miss you. "
He gaze upon the stars, wishing that she will one day,
turn back and look at him, sprint back and hold him up from his miserable state.
Lead him to the path they once dreamed to walk on,
The promises they swore to each other for a life time of happiness.
But he looked down and stare in the mirror, a reflection of himself.
He saw a devil within him, and that was when he realize,
He had this outcome is all because he chose to be the devil in him.
Tears started to roll down his cheeks as he recall all those happy moments with her,
and he yelled " If i have to choose between loving you and breathing,
i will use my last breath to say I Love You. "
The last thing he murmured to himself was.. " I'm sorry. "

2009-04-28T21:21:00.003+08:00

-Excruciating Pain

Staring at this keyboard.
lots of things are passing through my mind
i don't know what to say.

I'm sorry for all those things i had done.

2009-04-26T23:46:00.002+08:00

-Gay Boy (:

Who ever told you i was giving up ?
Forgetting you was never easy,
it will never be.
especially when every part of my house is filled with every single happy moments we had.
My phone, My room...
it constantly reminds me of you everyday, i am crazy, a psycho maniac .
i love you and your beautiful soul,
you're something special i stumbled on in life, someone i want to hold on to.
can't you see i need you ? every time i look at your pictures, i miss you.
every now and then i wanna text you, but i don't have the courage to.
Nobody's there when i call your name.
girl if i could, i'd make you see that i'm sorry and that i need you here with me
Everyday, reminisce with the past of a love that we thought would last,
how we used to be when it was you and me,
how did it disappear so fast..
there are days that i can't forget, there are things that i now regret
Everynight when i'm lying on my bed, i thought of all the things i could have done and
all those things i could have said then.
i really wanna make it up to you.
But i've lost you.
I can't fall into another love again, you stop me time and again.

2009-04-22T23:28:00.003+08:00

-This is what i need in life.
Friends,
They were the once who pull you up when you fall,
motivates and encourage you to move toward your goals, your future.
They were also the once who wished you fall,
fall so deep, till they grab this chance to step over you,
to shine and prove to others that they are stronger then you.
Choose your friends wisely. They make who you are and the problems you face.
They play an important role in your life.
Never there will be someone who can live without friends.

Nicholas,
You are someone that i wish to see next year,
you might take our conversation today as a joke but i mean it.
its time to wake up.
Do not see yourself as a failure,
as someone who can't attain anything in your education.
i believe that you can do it,
i want to see you change, make people change the way they look at you.
prove to others that you will never be a failure for life.

2009-04-21T00:34:00.004+08:00

-Things Never Change

Its a simple metaphor in life.
" What goes around, comes around. "

What must i do to make you forgive me.
i want to be somebody in you.
I want to be the first one to hold you with my hands and lead you to the path for the rest of time.
When i first met you,
life was never more easy then it could be,
it was the happiness in me that i've realize, how wonderful is it to share,
care and love someone that i can't imagine life without.
It was then when i found strength that pushed me to fall for you,
to dream of the future, to pursue what i really want.
you gave me this trust, to lean on you when i'm in need of someone,
someone who can show me a path to what opportunities life can bring,
someone whom i can take care and concern of and
someone which i am willing to spend my whole life time.
its you who make me realize how special it is to love and accept you no matter
Who you are, All your past and What you can bring me in future.
you've brought me many unexpected surprises,
many happy memories at that time
when i've got hold of you, you've showed me,
the true meaning of love.
But now, its all gone. And whats left is hopeless dreams and lies.
I had always loved you, and i will always remember the happiness you gave me.
Because you're just like a tattoo imprinted on my heart for the rest of time.

2009-04-20T00:28:00.003+08:00

-You, Take me away..

its been a long time, since i've thought about you.
Yes i agree, i miss you.
i have never realize that, i cant put you down and move along.
i've did many things, things that cause this tragedy.
it was all my fault for all that had happened.
how it started, how it comes to an end,
it was all... part of my acts of flirting.
i admit for doing such shit to hurt you.
but when i realize my mistake, its too late.
it took my 2 months to get up and continue with life.
i tried to move and not to look back.
But till now, i've realize, im walking on the same spot...
still at that miserable spot where you left me.
you were the person i've tried to cherish most
but ended up, hurting me most...

2009-04-15T22:30:00.002+08:00

-Stupidity.

I've hate you for who you became.
Such pain exist in me,
i wish to take it off my heart,
i don't wanna carry this for the rest of time.
Still faking a smile everyday,
wonder when will it come true.

today is just the same dark feeling,
just a different day.
I'm here without you baby,
i think and dream of you all the time.

2009-04-13T22:02:00.002+08:00

- Never myself anymore.

It only take 14 muscles to smile but,
40 to frown :D
Jessilyn is angry ):

Like the clouds you
Drift me away, far away
And like the sun you
Brighten my day,
Brighten my way.
You're my Princess, Queen, Empress

2009-04-11T03:35:00.002+08:00

-Spin tongues at me (:
A simple mistake could change your life,
choose your friends wisely,
they make who you are,
what you do,
and the criminal in you.
hate me all you want,
i won't give a little attention to you at all. (:
I wish there is a button to burst the earth,
i wanna press it.

Maybe these simple words will do best to best describe
me for you.
♥ Tu Amor

2009-04-06T20:44:00.003+08:00

-Horrible mess.

He was irrevocably in love with her.
trying with all his might,
just to satisfy her with her needs.
yet she neglected him,
avoiding him as it irritates her with his excessive amount of care and concern.
He, putting on a smile everyday,
consistently reminding himself that it was his duty
to make her happy.
After some time,
she fell for another guy,
she used this reason to break up with him.
he hurled everything that he have to say,
all the pain that he kept in his heart after a long period of time.
He, in frustration, killed the other guy.
it was not what he wanted, he tried committing suicide
as there were no longer reasons for him to live.
He failed, ended up in a hospital.
There she was,
standing beside him.
Holding a really sharp knife with her fist,
tightly wrapped around the handle.
He woke up from his deep sleep and
was hooked up by a beautiful view from her.
He was, unable to move,
too dazzled by her perfect looks,
not noticing that she had a knife pointed straight to his heart.
And that was when she slowly unclench her fist,
allowing the knife to fall directly down and,
penetrating through his heart.
After her revenge,
she had realize,
all along its he whom she really loved.
The guilt and regrets haunt her for the rest of her life,
remembering that the man she loved were killed by her own hands.

Cherish everything given to you in life.
he or she may not be perfect for you,
but there will never be someone exactly alike in this world.
Losing someone may be the greatest regret in life because,
You might not have the chance to see them again.

2009-04-03T19:41:00.003+08:00

-Lost generation.

i am part of a lost generation
and i refuse to believe that
i can change the world
i realize this maybe, shock but,
" Happiness comes from within "
is a lie, and
" money will make me happy "
so in 30 years i will tell my children
they are not the most important thing in my life.
My employer will know that
i have my priorities straight because
work
is more important than
family
i tell you this
once upon a time
families stayed together
but this will not be true in my era
this is a quick fix society
experts tell me
30 years from now i will celebrate the 10th anniversary of my divorce
i do not concede that
i will live in a country of my own making
in future
environmental destruction will be the norm
no longer can it be said that
my peers and i care about the earth
it will be evident that
my generation is apathetic and lethargic
it is foolish to presume that
There is hope.

reading this from top to bottom will be our future if,
we humans do not care about anything else
except work and money.
reading this from the bottom to top will be a different meaning,
try it.
it might be our future if humans care more on the earth, families.

2009-03-30T20:12:00.003+08:00

-I loved you from a distance though i cant reach so far

Being Neglected.
It Really Does Hurt, Alot.

Girl, didn't you realize, that all along i am trying my best to talk to you ? is it so hard, just to communicate with me ?
you might not feel so now, im neglected and pushed away by you time and time again, its hurtful.
you cant feel it, i understand. its because you're not me, not the one trying all he can with all his might, just to talk to someone he really wants to have,
wishing and praying upon every star just for you to accept him in your life. He prayed hard that every single text he receive was from you. But how about you ?
will you regret for neglecting and pushing him away from you if, one day he's gone ? i guess you wouldn't notice at all. Fuck Love..

2009-03-29T22:28:00.002+08:00

-Love are truth and lies

Love is a game
its everyone's job to play
Love is a phrase just overly clichéd.
It's dominated by cheaters, players, and heart-breakers.
Where three words often said are lies spoken by fakers and liars.
Love is an emotion, hormones are its causes.
Love is perfection that brings out your flaws.
Young ones are swayed into believing that it's real.
Soon conscious of mistakes, next fear is what you feel.
Love is a wish desired by so many loners.
Love is a sight shown off by its owners.
It's a sad pathetic world when love is only wanted,
for the sake of having it, and for it to be flaunted.
Love is a drug, so addictive and strong.
Its easy to fall for but difficult to step out
Love is a toy and you're strung along.
When it ends its painful, no fairy tale for life,
yet you will start again, not learning from your past,
to end with more lies and tears, and another cruelly broken heart.
Love is a reason to be treated like dirt.
Love is an excuse, an excuse to get hurt.
Love can be affection,
Love can be passions too,
But love will always be poisonous, that takes over YOU.

2009-03-29T02:26:00.002+08:00

-Hatred in this world.
i am missing
every little bits of memories of the past,
those happy ones.
thinking back on those happy days,
it makes me regret on losing them by not cherishing them well enough.
i know its too late regret now,
there's no point looking back,
whats gone and deserve not to come back will remain as it is.
fairy tales will never always have a happy ending.
trusting some one is never easy now
cant this world of humans stop making use of each other ?
i know i can never change it,
no one can.
we need people around us to survive.

i want to slow down for awhile,
maybe even stop time.
Forget about all our responsibilities and concentrate on our dreams,
goals in life.
i have lots to catch up.
used to waste all my time playing last year,
will it be easy to start afresh now ?
will i have the time to change, edit and improve everything,
everything that i've missed a year ago ?
"There will never be failures,
only learning experiences "
i might agree to this sentence but,
learning experiences are things that changed us in life.
everything that is possible,
can be done.
its not how hard you worked for it,
its how smart you go for it.
its time i work for my future.
Life is short.

2009-03-25T18:53:00.003+08:00

-Bright side.isn't this earth beautiful ?
what if one day, all our electric supplies have been cut off,
factory stops working, will humans be able to continue living on ?
irreversible global warming is coming and is anyone doing anything about it ?
you may say,
" i am only ONE person in singapore, how can i make a difference in things like this ? "
if everyone in singapore thinks this way,
will global warming be allowed to take place ?
simply by switching off your lights can help the world in many ways !
People out there !
28 march will be the day that EARTH HOUR will be hosted.
please turn off your lights to join us
in saving mother earth.
it all started 2 years back, year 2007.
when only ONE city started this exercise.
last year, year 2008
more then 50 million people around the world took part.
that was only approximately 0.83% of the population in the whole world.
this year, year 2009
the EARTH HOUR aims to have 1 billion people, 2000 cities, 16.7% of the worlds population
taking part in this exercise to show that people around the world knows that,
critical global warming is going to hit the earth if we don't do anything about it.
it cant be reversible when it reached the critical level.
so join me and others in saving the earth (:

2009-03-23T21:20:00.003+08:00

-Its just the same dam thing everyday
Today i see the same damn thing its just a different day from yesterday.
No one really knows why this is happening
but its happening
and everywhere i go its just a different place
i get the same dark feeling
and the same sad faces
no one really care that this is happening
we come into this world
and we are all the same
Human in all our ways and all our pains
at that moment there's no one to blame.
Living in this world its always been this way
there's no one doing nothing
so there's nothing changed
and i can't live when this world just keeps dying, its dying
people always tells me this is part of the plan
that gods got everybody in his hands
But i could only pray that god is listening
is he listening ?
But living in this world, growing colder everyday
nothing can stay perfect now i see.
im always crying out tonight,
my world has changed,
i asking god why
i cant sleep at night
its all another day for suits and ties,
There's no regard for life.
how can i make things right
just wanna make things right...
i really don't know what im searching for,
this world is crying for so much more..

Girl its time, you had forgotten about me. its ok, no use in patching everything back anymore i guess it is over ?
i kept my promise to keep the lighter and the green monster safe before you come back. did you kept yours ? i hope so.
now that its all over, i think its useless for me to keep them anymore..
i don't think you would even read my blog
so long, Goodbye<3

2009-03-21T17:07:00.002+08:00

-Worlds of black and white

This world is cruel,
full of regrets and memories.
it cuts you deep in the heart to think of them.
everynight, when you're about to sleep,
it will be someones turn to sleep and never wake up again.
One day, it will be my turn to go.
i hope it would not be early,
i don't wanna leave before finishing all i had done
i don't want to leave this world with regrets.
Cherish your life,
its the most important thing that anyone can have,
one and never more.
its un-fair, i know.
but what can we do ?
life is short.

2009-03-13T01:24:00.004+08:00

-On My Own

I guess from today on,
im walking alone :D
just made 3 new enemys yesterday.
come on ! hate me more.
its just being childish to do so.
when you people grow up,
when we see each other on the streets,
Will you remember why you hate me ?
oh i dun think so.
Think about it.
its not as if i've killed your parents ? LOLS

Just came back from camp.
it reminds me,
people out there, teenagers, ask yourself,
When was the last time you said " Thank You " or " ILoveYou" to your parents ?
when you were young,
just a small kid,
they bought you things that you wanted,
were you overjoyed ?
you would say, " Thank you Mum/Dad, I love you ! "
you might think its stupid,
but, think for yourself.
When was the last time,
you said it and you really mean it.
not because you're just simply happy.
your parents were the one who sacrifice almost everything for your happiness
but were you grateful to them now ?
they supplied you with pocket money,
did you thank them for a meal everyday ?
Smokers, thats the reason why they don't want to see you smoking.
in their heart,
it shows that, they supply you money, to hurt yourself.
imagine,
one day when their gone,
will you appreciate them better ?
its you who make a difference in their life,
you've changed them.
They sacrificed their freedom, their friends, all for you,
for your happiness.
Cherish them now before their gone and never back.

guess i will b e walking alone.
all i need,
is my family, a good girlF and studys.
thats whats important to me for now.

2009-03-07T00:41:00.004+08:00

-No longer me anymore.
I've thought about things in life,
Mum, im sorry if i've quarreled with you these days but,
im feeling emotionally down.
please understand.
lots of things happen in my life.
bad, good and hurtful, thoughtful memories.
who knows ?
im jus putting on a happy face everyday
but deep inside,
its totally the opposite way.
Dad, im sorry for being defiant.
its not what i wanna do but,
you've been asking me to do the things i wished not to.
i have a family,
i dun wish to destroy the trust and happiness between us,
i promise i will change.
not for anyone but, for myself.
Friends, im sorry for all the attitude.
understand me for once, will you ?
its not that you people had done something wrong.
its,
all the things that happened recently.
Enemy, continue to hate me more.
its just being childish to hate someone that did some minor problems to you
if you think that i want it this way,
go on, i wont stop you (:

i guess,
i just don't appreciate what i have in life.
kwang told me something today.
" Put everything behind and,
look forward to every tomorrow.
it will be better. Kwang. "
he was right, although he speak lots of craps everyday,
he told me whats deserve to remember today.
what ever happened today.
its the past.
it had gone by and, you have gone through it.
the page is written in your life story and
look forward for tomorrow.
no matter how hard or tough it is,
you still have to go through.
life is just like a story book.
it starts from page one,
and end at the last page.
you cant change it, its all written there.
who could predict our story.

And girl,
you haven contact me yet.
i guess you had forgotten about me ?
its ok, i wont let relationship destroy the happiness in me anymore.
But when everything's down,
i will be there just to make you feel better.
when you cry and need someone to lean on,
look for me,
my shoulder is always yours and,
my shirt will be your tissue for your tears
when you're down, you need some one to talk to,
i will always be more than willing to lend you my ears,
to hear everything that you need to pour out from your heart.
when you're fed-up with things that are happening to you,
i will help to ease the flame in you.

quitting smoking
and studying my ass off soon (:
and i know i can do it !
Go clive (:
changes are meant for the better.

Girl if you read this, I guess i wont have anything to do with you anymore ?
i'm just irritating to you right now. Don't worry. i will try my best not to pester you (':
the gift you gave me. it makes me think of you. reading what you wrote for me again and again
how i wish we were like the past. i wished upon every star we will return back to the past. How i wish so...
i brought the lighter out everyday. it reminds me of you. it makes me feel that, you're still here ?.
Girl, im so sick of love songs so sad and slow. so tired of tears. so done with wishing, you were still here
im so fed up with my my thoughts of you and your memory, every song reminds me of what we used to be.

2009-03-04T18:45:00.003+08:00

i regretted stepping back into love again.
i didnt know why i did so.
its so stupid of me...
I dun even mean a shit to you,
yet im pestering you,
wanting the way i treated you to be de same as me.
is this,
the way love should be ?
The pain is hurting me time and time again.
the way you text-ed me,
the way you talked to me.
it has changed from past times.
I'm thinking one girl,
Yea it was her.
Shes choosing one from me and 3 other guys
yep she had many
But love for me,
i guess she didn't have any.
Maybe it all turn-ed out to be a one sided love story ?
are we jus friends ?
or is there more ?
i guess not.
will the story just end likr that ?
i hope not..
i wished you would return to the past,
like what you used to be
when everyday,
you look up for me,
Talked to me,
crap with me,
i really miss those times together.
242747, I Want You To Be Mine.

Hey girl, if you will see this, Will you be mine one day ?
Girl, i need you, i wont give up on you.
if you need me, ask me to come, i'll hold you in my arms
i will hear your problems, your burdens i will bare
But, first i need your hands, then a life time can begin..
just whisper me, tell me and girl you know that i'll be there.
PS. I Love You ! ♥

2009-02-23T18:46:00.002+08:00

Ok,
i had enough,
am i not worth your attention at all
or just fucking transparent ?
haven't you realize,
the painful silence we had today ?
or maybe im just nothing in your life.
jus someone to stick to when no ones around ?
I have fucking enough of this shit
you can blame me for avoiding you,
you can blame me for saying all this shit
but im just trying to see
how important am i to you.
ok now it looks like im nothing
simply just a idiot who follows your tail
and end up dropping into pile of craps.

i wont trust anyone in my life,
fucking anymore
mother fuckers _l_
you not happy ?
come tell me
i will be more then willing to listen to you.

2009-02-19T23:48:00.003+08:00

A world of regrets.

imagine life without emotions.
will we be able to live like,
the same way as what we are having now ?
its a question thats hard to find the answer.
because,
no one has ever tried.
it will have both,
good and bad explanation.
Good is because,
imagine love,
without those sad memorise,
enemys without hatreds.
and friends without fights,
will this world be a much safer and better place to live in ?
Bad is because,
love without happiness,
families without care and concern,
and living without a reason.
will this world be meaningless ?
Is friends,
that necessary in life ?
their just making use of each other.
ok,
some are loyal people which are deserved to be respected.
but some,
just wanna make use of you because,
you benefit their needs in life.
i just dun understand why.

ok done with all the stupid things i had to say.
but isn't it true ?
i mean like,
this is life.
Face the facts.
running from realities are just dumb lies made to yourself.
enough of craps.
im done blogging.
Shagggggggg.

Tonight is the night i will give up on you.
i have no rights to speak to you or judge you anymore.
So long, goodbye.
PS; i will miss you.

2009-02-15T16:26:00.004+08:00

Yawns ! O:
just came back from kwangs house.
clive is feeling very tired ):
but he had quite a fun time last night.
celebrating valentines day with kwang and friends
hmm ton-ed the whole night yesterday.
Took some stupid photos wif pei fang :B
Her dumb idea :D

and 2 zi lian ones,
R-A-N-D-O-M- ! :D

watching shows, hearing songs, high-ing, eating mac and playing black jack, etc etc.
during 1am ~ 3 am,
yeeboon was singing his (Zhao sia) songs.
Heres one example :

omg laugh till peng.
during 3~4 playin black jack
LOLS
i won de nengs 10 dollars with 1 dollar bets :B
HAHAHA !
and 4~6 i was trying my best not to let them sleep by rolling screaming shouting and doin crap stuffs that irritate them :B
but 7 am clive shut down ):
slept for 5 mins,
kwang took out his guitar ( electric )
blast his amplifier,
doing all de fcking irritating noice to make us wake up.
went to kallang lesiure after that and then,
Buss-ed home straight ):
hmm oh ya ~!
i saw a bat sleeping outside my house walls yesterday morning x.x
its super cute !
look at de rat face bats LOLS

i just dun meet your needs at all.
im not capable to be someone important in your life.
i guess, theres nothing more then friends between us.
but i choose to lie to myself that,
Theres always a chance between you and me.
PS. ILoveYou.

2009-02-11T23:00:00.005+08:00

Mood- Smashed.

Went to thomsam
to eat roti prata with ZR and YB today.
the gays outing yo !
Nothing much happened today.
slacked at some weird reservoir today
and we saw a baby snake ! :D
its so cute LOLS

buss-ed home after slacking.
and here i am,
home alone again tonight.

Love is what worth risking everything for.
Forgiving is part of love
But, love is just a lie.

Should i ever trust girls or love again ? i'm so afraid i will fall for you.
But whats the use of being afraid when its already started ?
its just another lie and i put my trust in you but Yet you crushed it unknowingly.
i hate it when you do so, i hate it when its not on purpose because i cant seem to put the blame on you,
forgiving you time and again, its hurting me and i wish you would Notice
i dun want us to end as friends, i want MORE.
PS. ILoveYou ♥

2009-02-10T22:51:00.002+08:00

Hi people,
today had some fun with yee boon and ZR at marina.
school as boring as usual and and ):
i got my first day of LRC today
FUCK !
hmm, after school
jio-ed yee boon and zr out.
went marina to watch show ! (:
while bussing there, felt kinda bored alone so took two pictures.

reached marina and as usual i was late ):
walked to the cinema
and the only show that looks intresting,
is inkheart.
not a very bad show actually (:
bought tickets and went to see yee boon play bowling !
LOLS
i swear he look like macdonalds with the dam shoe
see :

after the show,
we head to the toilet (:
took this sexy picture of zr and yb holding,
boobs ?!? x.x
LOLSTook some pics in the toilet too.

Slack around and ate at marina before bus-ing home (:
had quite some entertainment today (:

How i wish you were mine Valentine. ♥

2009-02-04T23:19:00.006+08:00

Boring ):
10 more days to valentines day ):
i wonder who will be there to accompany me
throughout the whole day ?
im waiting for my miss right yo !
faster come to meeeeeee
i dun wanna spend it alone !
arhhhhs ):

i have you in my mind now.
it was a crush, what a crush
cause the possibility that you will ever feel the same for me,
its jus too impossible to be.
am i crazy or falling in love ?
is it real or just another crush,
another rush.
Has it ever crossed your mind ?
are we jus friends ?
is there more, is there more ?
i cant promise you that everyday would be beautiful,
but i can promise you happiness.
i cant promise you forever,
but i can promise you, a lifetime.
PS. I need you.

2009-01-31T17:34:00.002+08:00

Jus woke up.
Slept at 8am+ dis morning.
went drinkin at mid night with wif sx.
super high lols.
Looking at this blog, at key board,
Nothing is passing through my mind now.
having a headache.

she ?
is that what im askin myself now ?
please,
shes gone.
why are all the memories comin back ?
i should'nt have tursted us,
i should not put in so much in the first place.
getting all this back was my...
reward ?
she came into my life,
and brought me back into love.
but left me in the corner half way through
all the promises we made,
were all...
lies ?
its brokennnn.
is love that un-predictable ?
i guess so.
but memories,
so unforgettable.
i shouldnt have let you step in.
its my mistake.
but i kept thinking back on,
how much i loved you ?
This are all reasons to escape my pain now.
reason that its happening,
its all,
for you.
140109, So Long, Good Bye.

2009-01-29T00:43:00.003+08:00

BORING ! ):
Wasn't a very good day for me at all ):
seeing fights in school 3 times today.
hmm,
went out with Fiance today (:
finally got to see her man ! LOLS
watch-ed show at tampines and she have to rush home cause of probation ):
sad sia,
get to see her only for that short while.
not a very good day at all.

Fiance ! (:
no matter what,
stand by me for the rest of time,
will you ? :D
Lovexzxz LimShiPing <3

2009-01-17T00:24:00.002+08:00

Baby, i've found you,
been waiting for you for quite some time.
thinking that i will never get someone right for me like you.
Bustards fuck far away from her ! (:
she's mineeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee !
Clive's Property !
Shoooooooooooooooooooo ! :B
Baby, our fairy tale will never end,
140109 ; 1827.

CliveLim ♥ LimShiPing ! ☺

2009-01-15T23:08:00.003+08:00

This picture, edited by,
Sweet Sweet Fiance ! (:
Hey people ! (:
im missin my baby right now !
How how ):
But everynight, Thinkin of her,
it makes me happy.
cause shes mine :B
LALA
i feel so sweet now ! ><
She's the one who sweetens up my life.
loving you don't need meanings, reasons.
i dunno why but it jus came. (:
Baby its fated that we are together.
lets make it last.
All i ever think is about you now,
Baby you got me hypnotized.
You are taking control of me.
baby im crazy about you.
Be my sweetest and last valentine, Will you ?
Baby i wan our story to be everlasting,
a story without an ending.

140109 ; 1827
CliveLim ♥ LimShiPing
7447464

PS. ILOVEYOU ! ♥

2009-01-14T23:48:00.002+08:00

140109 ; 1827pm

Lim Shi Ping you are mine mine mine ! :B
HAHS !
Finance Iloveyouuuuuuuuuu ! (:

2009-01-13T23:57:00.003+08:00

Quizz.
1. What is your full name?
} Clive Lim *** ***.
2. Do you like your name?
} Yes, my english name but. But No, My chinese name.
3. How long have you liked the person you currently like?
} I dunno.
4. Have you kissed anyone before?
} Yes, But on the ass, No LOLS
5. Did you cry today?
} No.
6. What were you doing at 8a.m. this morning?
} Assembly in sch .___.
7. What were you doing an hour ago?
} At KSP with friends
8. What are you currently doing now?
} breathing, Typing and blinking LOLS
9. Who last texted you a message?
} ShiPing.
10. Have you told anyone I love you today?
} No.
11. Are you missing anyone now?
} YES ! She's asleep now ): I MISS HER BADLY ! ><
12. Any plans for tomorrow?
} School.
13. What was the reason behind the last time you cried?
} Thinking of the past.
14. Anyone you wanna be with right now?
} Not sure.
15. Have you kissed anyone whose name started with an "s"?
} No
16. Name someone who made you smile today and why.
} Yee Boon. He and his craps lols.
17. Name someone whose name starts with a "z" .
} ZhanRong
18. Which friend of yours stays near you?
} Ma-thu tan chao-high
19. Do you prefer to call or text?
} Text.
20. Do you prefer today or yesterday?
} Today.
21. Can you live a day without handphone or television?
} "A day without handphone", cant imagine that.
22. Are you mad at anything now?
} Nope.
23. Do you think relationships are worth it?
} Sometimes
24. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
} Grandfather
25. Who was your last and second last hug from?
} Kelly.
26. What does the last message in your handphone say?
} Dunno ?
27. Define life.
} Meaningless. Full of regrets.
28. Do you hate anyone?
} Yes.
29. Who was the last person you called?
} ShiPing
30. Who usually sends the most text messages in a month?
} Not sure. Count for what ? o.o Pian tai LOLS
31. Tag 10 people to do this quiz.
} No one (:

Nothin to blog for today (:
Sorry people !

2009-01-10T01:19:00.005+08:00

Back to post for today !
Took some zi lian photos today x.x
same old school boring day in the morning.
went home to change and waited with Shuai xiong, Nicholas and matthew for yu jie.
goin the cathay to watch Red Cliff today
but it was packed with people):
dam sad sia.
hmm.
Took some pics with them at plasa sing.

walked to cine to find natally, sharmaine, marissa and shawn
We disturb-ed yujie ! (:
So dam cute!
Look at his face LOLS
DICK HEAD !
made our way down to look for jason and hubert at grandlink
played pool and left home):
a photo Shuai xiong took while i was playing pool.(:
Nice
Boringgggg Life !
Love, Study and Love, Study.
super fucked up ):

2009-01-08T00:02:00.003+08:00

Back to blogging.
having super dull mood now.
cant explain myself.
lots of problems now,
cant fall asleep.
listening song, stoning, rotting etc.
Thinking alot of shit now again .___.
past present future,
all about life.
Why am i runing from the truth.
all i can think now is about you.
am i crazy or falling in love ?
is it real ?
or just another crush ?
im trying and trying to walk away from you.
are we just friends ?
is there more, More ?
You got me hypnotized,
so mesmerized
but i know this love ain't goin anywhere.
and im not goin to continue to cling onto it anymore.
i know,
some day,
i must Let go of this incomplete love.
Thanks for those memories.

I Give Up.

2009-01-04T23:04:00.002+08:00

Hey all ! :B

back to blog again.
went out today at 11 plus for sum zhong,
with 24 people.
hmm,
pinxiang, derrick, jason all didnt come,
sleepin at home lohs !
zzz
so i went alone,
meet jeff and all at 803 coffee shop.
Took some uncles bus to simei
where de sum zhong was.
after that,
head to kakit bukit to eat feast !
went pub after that,
played pool,
drink and slack awhile and headed to bugis.
wanted to see 18's tai ji.
But sua-ed in de end.
hmm walked to jeff house cause isacc wanted to change to slippers.
they went to lor 11 to play billard while
i head home.
dye-ed my hair black again.
zzz
sad.
tomorrow got school again .___.
super sian.
here are some photos we took today (:
Jeff and issac.
real blood brothers.

Done !
Bye all.

2009-01-04T00:42:00.004+08:00

Yays ! (:

finally blogging at a happy mood now yaw !
LOLS went to meet kelly,
derrick and hui hui at bugis.
waalk walk.
so dam sian.
saw da stanly outside bugis street.
super qiao,
singapore sooooooo small.
Bus-ed to matthew house meet him and,
bus-ed back to bugis, meet kelly ! :DD
stayed at bugis awhile and
i send kelly to de bus stop x.x
sad, she left so early.
Having a super headace then.
gave her a good bye hug before she left.
walk back to bugis find matthew they all and,
went to shesha yaw ! with
adrian, shuai xiong, yujie, jackson, natally, sharmaine, matthew, hubert and lastly,
sharmaines friend ! :D
stayed not long today,
jus went there slack nias.
now homed ! :D
took some photos today,
super ugly.
Look at crazy sharmaine tan :D
Adrian George (:
act cool siol.

2009-01-03T00:54:00.003+08:00

Past memories,
Haunting me in my life,
i dunno what can i do,
thinking back on all the things i had done in the past,
all the mistakes i take
and all the idiot problems i made.
people say,
this is life,
getting use to it may be the only way ?
i wish i can erase all the past memories i have
and continue from where i am now.
i dun wish to remember anything about her,
its torturing me...
Memories memories,
jus a page of story in my life bahs.
this is super Fuck laaaaa
im thinkin of all these again.
okok i should stop (:

life is all about regrets,
Relationship, all the hurtful stuffs .___.
i dunno how to live anymore ><
blah blah,
today, fucked up day for me.
Hmm,
i saw your true colours,
im waiting,
silently for your mistake in life,
and im goin to use this mistake
you make to change your life,
FOREVER asshole,
i will,
Hunt you one day !
Son Of A Bitch !

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAN YEE BOOOOOOOOOOON !

2008-12-30T16:54:00.002+08:00

Life - fuLL of regrets ,
Studies - fuLL of dissapointments ,
Relationships - fuLL of Tears ,
Diary - fuLL of memories
Whats Life For ?
Can any one tell me ?
i wanna give up now.
its so hurtful.
miserable.
life is somthing worth Keeping for
Somethin That we must cherish.
one and never more.
But it has gave me many regrets...
what can i do now ?
Im Falling.

I've tried studying but,
it ended up with disappointment
Education is good for my future,
But i Jus cant get better results.

Relationships.
A topic i am too afraid to touch,
to talk about,
Love ?
Everlasting ?
Promises ?
Trust ?
too much for me to handle.
Cutting and self torturing
is not the way to escape the pain in your heart.
People use to tell me,
Time is the best
medicine of all for love...
But,
I dun think soo.
Instead,
Time will kill your Trust in love.
It may stop your tears from rolling down your cheeks,
But
your heart will turn into stones,
its hard for the next person to break it
its a really hard topic to talk about now.
Giving up everything for love cause,
Love is whats worth risking everything for.
Thats why,
For What i say now,
FUCKLOVE (:

Diarys,
Memories that happen in your life.
Memories are all kept,
in a dairy,
For every human diary,
its kept in the brain.
writing out is jus to express your feelings to a book.
It cant be deleted,
it cant be erased.
Knocking it will BE the ONLY way to forget it.
I have lots of memorise in life.
some i wish to forget,
some i wish to keep.
Most hurtful memories are those,
whom you lost your loved ones
Lossing is not breaking up.
But lossing is when your Loved ones passed-away.

I have regretted many times in this life,
But im gonna cherish it,
its the only thing i can use see YOU ,
To hear YOU,
to feel YOU
and to...
Love You.

2008-12-30T00:54:00.003+08:00

Hey People ! :D

Im backkkkkkk
Ohmy x.x
school Reopening soooooooon
sad siol D:

Went Bugis to meet Matthew, Hubert, ShuaiXiong and Jackson today :D
Watched them Play arcade and left for Macc !
Super hungry at that time.
hmm after mac,
decided to go look for some seeeeeshaaaaaaaaaa :D
hmm,
at first, there was no luck at all.
all require IC and age above 18.
dam suey lo ! ><
Hmm, Called sharmaine
and ask about the stats is Hajar Lane.
she said theres a few stores that keep underage seesha-ers LOLS
hmm walk around and ask.
Finally found a store ! (:
Happy yaw !
Bought 2 Bottles by accident and start LOLS
Here are The First Feww photos (:

Kinda High at first,
Sucking Blowing,
Sucking Blowing.
But it started to get a little disgustin in de endd LOLS.
hmm,
asked sharmaine to come over to slack with us.
she called her friend after that.
we stayed ther frm 8pm~11pm LOLOLS
super shiok.
Hubert did stupid stuffs with us and left the place.
These are some Photos,
Enjoy :D
LOLS
Last Photo, Our Gay Move !
Cheese LOLS !

What Are You Trying To Hint Me ?.
I Dun Understand.
Girl, Give Me More Clues.
I'm Soooo Confuse now...

2008-12-25T23:07:00.003+08:00

Merry X'Mas everyone ! :D
christmas passed le ohs !
goin school reopen soon D:
hmm so fcked up ytd.
Me, MeiRu, Hubert, Darrall, JQ, Xaviour, keith and derrick,
celebrated christmas together !
Not a very good night
But,
its ok for me x.x
derrick MeiRu left at 1 am plus while the others stayed (:
walk de whole stretch of orchard road MANY times lols
looking for police station lo x.x
hubert kena pickpocket.
Nah beh sia.
if we catch de person sure comb him de bodoh. zz
kena spray till dam jia lat lah !
Fcking banglahs ! D:
hate them D:

Guess what i had for christmas this year D:
Sick and Love Sick yaw D:
Having serious headache and stuffs now,
while love sick cause i miss her D:
i dun wanna think of her,
i dun wanna give her stress.
but i jus cant control my love for her.
iyas i better stop .__.
i shall go rest now.
Bye all.

2008-12-23T23:59:00.003+08:00

im back ! :B
took this on monday night :D
beautiful right !
its kinda dark x.x
but there is a river there,
in front of those buildings.
slacked at kallang water front with kelly on monday night,
till tuesday morning,
went to find Mr.Teo,
AKA derrick (:
stoned and watch some shows with ah gao (:
kester sleeping away at around 4++
went home at around 8 plus and slept till 11 am x.x
Ston-ed at home till 3pm .
and left to suntec to check on my phone.
some stupid problems x.x
hmm went to dohby after that to service :D
but overall,
the problem turns out to be a corrupted memory card .___.
so i got back my phone on the spot.
YAY (:
hmm, took 2 ugly pics today ><

Yays !
my mood is crushed now.
but i seem happy,
i dunno why.
maybe,
looking at the choices you made and
the things you've said,
i've realised,
what i had done on monday was too rush (:
i knew this would happen but,
i didn't regret for what i had done.
im sorry for my actions.
what i can do now,
is to watch you pass your life happily.,
Supporting you for every choice you made,
every step you take,
in the corner of your life.
im nothing to you right now,
jus a grain of rice in a rice bag.
there are many other choice of life for you.
all i want to see,
is your happiness.
i will always be there for you when you need me.
i will never forget that night together. Never.
we will always,...
remain as...
friends ?
So Long
And
Goodbye.
I will miss you.♥

QUIZ :D

1. The person who tagged :
Kelly (:

2. Your relationship with her:
Xrabs (:

3. Your impressions of her:
Un-forgetable.

4. The most memorable thing she had said to you:
Do not treat me seriously.

5. The most memorable thing she had done to you:
A kiss that can never be forgotten.

6. If she becomes your lover, you will:
Impossible to happen.

7. If she becomes your lover, thing she has to improve on will be:
Nothin, she's perfect the way she is.

8. If she becomes your enemy, you will:
That will never happen...

9. If she becomes your enemy, the reason will be:
me, doin somthin stupid.

10. The most desired thing you want to do for her now is:
Being beside her whenever she needs me (:

11. Your overall impression of her is:
Perfect.

12. How do you think people around you will feel about you?:
irritated.

13. The characteristics that you love about yourself are:
Childish, inside.

14. On the contrary, the characteristics you hate of yourself are:
Lazziness.

15. The most ideal person you want to be is:
None

16. People who care about and likes you, say something to them:
Thank you ? (:

17. Pass this quiz to 10 people that you wish to know how they feel about you:
1)Hu-Bird :D
2)Nicholas
3)Adrian
4)Yujie
5)ShuaiXiong
6)MeiMei
7)Kelly
8)Derrick
9)Matthew
10)Cheryl

18. Who is six having a relationship with?:
nope (:

19. Is nine a male or female?:
male.

20. What is two studying about?:
Comb humanities , Comb science, FnN, chinese , E math, english.

21. If seven and ten are together, will it be a good thing?:
Both girls ? lesbo LOLS
They dunno each other too .__.

22. When was the last time you had a chat with three?:
When he was about to sing on stage for campus at mediacorp ?

23. What kind of music does eight like?:
Dunno him.
Tico boy LOLS

24. Will you woo three?:
As a friend, why not ?

25. How about seven?:
I've tried (:

26. Is four single?:
NO ! LOLS

27. What is the surname of five?:
Teng

28. Do five and nine get along well?:
OkOk ba, somtimes will quarrel.

29. Where is two studying at?:
Manjusri sec.

30. Have you tried developing feelings for eight?:
Yea. Sex partners yaw LOLS

31. Where does nine live at?:
somwhere across my house ? :D at UBI.

32. What colour does three like?:
No idea.

33. Are five and one best friends?:
No.

34. Does one have pets?:
None.

35. Is seven the sexiest person in the world?:
Yes (:

36. What is ten doing now?
should be stoning at home bahs (:

2008-12-21T04:08:00.004+08:00

Lala :D
im back to post again !
Hmm, dug this photo out of my documents x.x
it is taken by kelly !
at that point of time,
I was using the phone,
Stoning and biting my fingers
look at de guy beside me x.x
Hmm, did nothing much that day O:
went out with kelly and her friends,
stone at orchard many times LOLS.
Saw clara and kitty there, rofl.
at first i only see clara,
but i find the person standing beside her look dam familiar.
in the end it was kitty (:
went home to check and i was right !
i shall not talk about my life now.
its boring (:
back to disturbing kelly !
LOLS
i shall make you kiss the hoodie one day again ROFL !
but,
Thanks anyways,
for accompany-ing me These days. (:
you are,
a friend worth keeping :D
yays.
The End.

FuckLove♥